The small apartment of my lockdown has a three compass-point orientation, rendering the island of Tenerife in a panoramic view. From this lighthouse, the weight of the world seems manageable. Birds chirping I have never heard before, enjoying their newly regained hold over the world. Yet I can hardly get out of bed to type. Every time I try to concentrate, my mind glides over the smooth surface of a slide and out of reach. The silent, motionless surroundings are an unwelcome reminder of the paradigm shift of over-articulate social beings into their hibernation. I’m spending this quarantine far away from my loved ones. Yet wherever I have been, it felt like I would be sitting under the same bell jar, in the spirit of Esther’s existential numbness in Sylvia Plath’s homonymous book. I’ve always thought of drowning as a descent of the said bell jar, with the water suspended above my head. A perfectly transparent habitat, being observed by sea creatures like a curious intruder in a perfectly harmonious environment.
I was floating above my bed
Like a body in a river, in a car
And the only sound in my head
Was a dying cricket in a jar
– Dead Man’s Bones, Flowers Grow Out of My Grave
Every time I open my laptop, anxiety pulls me back. Conversations increasingly need bridging or platforms to happen. 5096 kilometres separate me from New Bedford, Massachusetts, on the other side of the Atlantic. It’s the former whaling harbour from which Véréna Paravel and Lucien Castaing-Taylor departed to film their iconic Leviathan and where Herman Melville’s Ishmael sailed on his voyage to hunt Moby-Dick. In Tenerife, the seascape of black shores made up of volcanic sediments overwhelms me. There’s no gradual getting into the water, and I instantly submerge into the chasm like I am being baptised in blackness. I fear that if my muscles betray me and I go down, no rescuer could save me from this unsettling abyss. It’s like falling overboard from Leviathan’s fishing trawler into the endless night. Waves are swirling and slapping my face as I gargle more water than I can handle, claiming my body as it invades my orifices. A light touch makes me twitch in anguish—my struggle may attract beasts that could swallow me whole. The lack of ground under my feet awakens my senses in a somatic overflow one can achieve only by near-death experience. Who’s the fish now?
The film emerges from a black screen at the beginning, sound preceding the image. Indistinguishable splashes of colour appear from the darkin what looks like an amateur handheld camera movement. Funny how, in digital photography, noise is the term to describe distortion that comes from shooting in low light. Designed by Ernst Karel, the aural spectrum is diegetic, varying from the ocean’s natural elements – waves crashing, the wind blowing – to the more industrial, rusty hoists squeaking and creaking under the weight of fish pulled out of water. Sound not just accompanies the image, but in the hierarchy of senses, I hear before I see. The same device closes the film in full circle, with the image fading while the sound carries on to extend the sonic hallucination beyond what the camera can capture.